Helping a Teen who Panics
For teens experiencing panic, it can feel completely overwhelming. It shows up in their thoughts, in physical sensations in their body, and in the things they do to try to make it stop, which can quickly become self-perpetuating. For parents, it can be very hard to watch their child in that state. The challenge is knowing how to respond, not just in the moment, but afterwards as well.
In this Let’s All Talk Mental Health session, Dr Monica Parkinson, Clinical Psychologist and Author spoke about what panic is, how it presents in teenagers, and what actually helps. Drawing on her experience of working with young people and families, she focused on how to understand what’s happening and how to respond in a way that supports recovery rather than reinforcing the cycle.
Why Does Panic Feels Intense
Panic is a physical response. For some teens, it’s subtle. For others, it can escalate quickly and be incredibly frightening. It may include:
dizziness or feeling faint
loss of balance
choking sensations
a racing heart
shakiness
sweating, nausea or stomach pains
tingling or numbness
hot flushes or chills
intense fear, such as feeling like you might die or are “going crazy”
Some young people may also begin to feel anxious about being in certain places, particularly where they worry they won’t be able to leave easily. This can lead to avoidance of situations or a fear of going out.
There is also a difference between panic symptoms and panic disorder. Many young people experience panic symptoms at times of stress or anxiety. Panic disorder is when those symptoms begin to significantly interfere with daily life. An important point for parents: panic feels dangerous, but it isn’t.
How Panic Builds: The Cycle
Panic often develops through a cycle of thoughts, body sensations and behaviours. It can start with something small, even an internal sensation like a racing heart or feeling hot. What matters is how the young person interprets it.
“It is the meaning they put to it that starts off the panic cycle.”
For example:
A sensation → “Something’s wrong”
Anxiety increases → physical symptoms intensify
The young person tries to cope or escape → which reinforces the fear
Over time, this can lead to avoidance of certain places or situations, making the cycle stronger.
Subtle Signs of Panic
Panic is not always obvious. Many parents don’t initially realise that panic is what’s driving behaviour. You might notice:
withdrawing or going quiet
reluctance or refusal to attend school or social situations
restlessness or agitation
needing to leave situations suddenly
visible distress such as crying or hyperventilating
Often, parents see the behaviour but not what’s underneath it. “It can be a lightbulb moment when families realise what’s actually going on.”
Supporting Without Reinforcing the Cycle
When a teen is distressed, the instinct is to protect and remove them from the situation. While understandable, this can sometimes strengthen the panic cycle.
Panic is often maintained by:
avoidance (leaving or not entering ‘anxiety inducing’ situations)
safety behaviours (things a young person feels they must do to cope)
“Anxiety is very good at recruiting people and behaviours to join it.”
What helps instead is a balance:
acknowledging how difficult it feels
staying calm and steady
gently encouraging small steps forward
Helpful approaches include:
noticing without pressure: “It looks like that felt really hard”
choosing low-pressure moments to talk
staying alongside rather than rushing to fix
supporting gradual exposure to situations
Questions to Help You Understand What’s Happening
A simple way to explore panic with your teen is to break it into three parts:
1. Thoughts
What’s going through your mind? What’s the worst thing you think might happen?
2. Body
How does your body feel? What does your body tell you in that situation?
3. Safety Behaviour
What do you do to try to cope or feel safer?
These questions help both parent and teen make sense of the experience and begin to step back from it. It is important to look out for avoidant and restrictive safety behaviours.
The Role of Avoidance
One of the biggest challenges with panic is that it can spread. If a panic episode happens in a particular place, a young person may start to avoid it. Over time, this avoidance can extend to more situations so that “their zone of safety starts to shrink.” The aim is neither to avoid situations nor to force exposure, but to take small, manageable steps back towards those situations, helping the young person learn that it will feel challenging but, the intensity will pass and they can cope.
When to Seek Extra Support
Additional support may be helpful when:
panic is affecting school, friendships or daily routines
avoidance is increasing
distress is frequent or intense
Starting points include school, your GP, and local NHS or CAMHS resources. It’s also important to rule out any underlying physical causes if symptoms are unusual.
Takeaway
Panic feels overwhelming, but it is not harmful, and it is very treatable. Dr Monika Parkinson shared that, “doing nothing is often the best remedy.” That means:
not rushing to escape
allowing the feeling to rise and fall
staying in the situation where possible
For parents and teens, this can feel completely counterintuitive. But calm, steady support, alongside gentle encouragement, helps young people build confidence that they can manage what they are feeling.
Watch the full session with Dr Monika Parkinson on the Let’s All Talk Mental Health hub here now.
Resources
Book - Free from Panic by Dr Monika Parkinson
CAMHS Support - https://oxfordhealth.nhs.uk/camhs/self-care/anxiety/self-help/