Helping Your Teen Deal with Bullying
Bullying is a big issue for teens, and according to the ONS approximately 1 in 5 experience in-person bullying. We know that it’s a traumatic experience, and that the emotional and psychological effects can last a long while. In this week’s Let’s All Talk Mental Health session, we were joined by Kat Fuller, a highly experienced Family Support Practitioner and the Parent Support Manager at anti-bullying charity Kidscape, to talk about how parents, carers, and schools can better understand, identify, and address bullying - both online and offline.
Understanding What Bullying Really Is
Kat explained how bullying isn’t just part of “growing up.” It’s defined by repetitive, intentional harm - whether physical, verbal, or emotional - often involving an imbalance of power between the individuals involved. Recognising bullying for what it is helps parents, educators, and young people take it seriously and intervene early.
Why Teens Bully
The reasons behind bullying are complex. Some teenagers may bully others because they’re struggling with personal challenges, such as difficulties at home, mental health issues, or even past experiences of being bullied themselves. Others may act out due to jealousy, peer pressure, or a desire to assert control.
Understanding these underlying causes doesn’t excuse the behaviour, but it helps guide constructive conversations and meaningful interventions that can lead to real change.
Supporting Victims of Bullying
For parents and carers, the first step is often listening. Victims of bullying may show signs like withdrawal, changes in appetite or sleep, reluctance to attend school, or increased anxiety. Providing a safe and open space for your teen to talk about what’s happening, and making sure they feel heard, can make a world of difference.
Involving your teen in decisions about how to move forward helps restore their sense of control, which is often lost in bullying situations.
The Critical Role of Schools
Schools play a central role in preventing and addressing bullying. While many have anti-bullying policies in place, the quality of implementation can vary greatly.
Strong policies should not stand alone and should be integrated with behaviour and safeguarding frameworks, and recognise that severe bullying can amount to a form of child abuse.
It’s also important for schools to treat online bullying (cyberbullying) as part of the broader issue, rather than something separate. In most cases, cyberbullying is intertwined with in-person bullying and reflects wider peer group dynamics.
Empowering Bystanders to Become Upstanders
Kat talked about how one of the most powerful tools against bullying is the bystander. Encouraging young people to be “upstanders”, those who speak out or act safely when they witness bullying, can disrupt harmful dynamics and create a more supportive culture.
Teaching empathy, assertiveness, and safe intervention strategies can help turn bystanders into allies for those being bullied.
Addressing Bullying Behaviour with Empathy
When a child is identified as engaging in bullying, it’s essential to respond with understanding as well as accountability. Labelling or punishing without exploring the root causes may only reinforce negative behaviours. Parents, carers, and educators can work together to promote reflection, empathy, and positive behaviour change through supportive conversations and interventions.
The Long-Term Impact of Bullying
Bullying can have serious short-term and long-term consequences for a young person’s mental health, including anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and trauma responses. Early recognition and compassionate support are key. Encouraging teens to engage in confidence-building activities like sports, hobbies, or creative pursuits can help rebuild confidence and build some resilience.
A Shared Responsibility
Tackling bullying requires both parents/carers and schools to work together as well as the wider community. Everyone has a role to play in creating safer, kinder spaces for young people. As Kat Fuller emphasised, “It’s about using our Power for Good, whether we’re a parent, educator, or peer.”
By working together and encouraging young people to speak up and support one another, we can all make a difference in reducing tolerance towards and reducing prevalence of bullying.
Find Out More
Watch the full session now on the Let’s all Talk Mental Health hub and don’t forget, there’s a Student Session for your teen on there too called ‘You’re Not the Problem: Bullying, Boundaries and Getting Support’.
For additional guidance and practical tools, visit Kidscape - a dedicated charity offering support, training, and resources for families and educators dealing with bullying.