School Changes, Holidays & Burnout: Supporting Neurodivergent Teens
23 Jun
As the school year comes to an end, many families are looking ahead to the summer holidays with a mix of relief and uncertainty. For neurodivergent teenagers in particular, this period can bring both a welcome break and a set of new challenges.
In this week’s Let’s All Talk Mental Health session, we were joined by ADHD and Executive Function Coach Liz Ambler, who shared practical insights into how school holidays, changes in routine, and burnout can affect young people and how parents can support them in a calm and manageable way.
Drawing on her experience working with neurodivergent individuals and families, Liz helped parents understand why this time of year can feel unsettled, and how small, thoughtful adjustments can make a meaningful difference.
Holidays: Helpful or Hard?
One of the questions discussed was whether time away from school routines actually helps neurodivergent teenagers.
The answer, as Liz explained, is both yes and no. While downtime can offer much-needed rest, long periods without structure can lead to increased overwhelm. Without the scaffolding of routine, challenges such as procrastination, rumination and difficulty getting started can become more pronounced.
For some young people, particularly those who rely on predictability, the absence of routine can feel disorientating rather than relaxing. This is why finding a balance between structure and flexibility is so important.
The Risk of Too Much Unstructured Time
Unstructured time can sound appealing, but for many neurodivergent teens it can quickly become difficult to manage. Liz described how extended downtime can lead to:
Procrastination - where teens struggle to initiate tasks
Rumination - repeatedly going over thoughts without resolution
A sense of overwhelm from too many choices or too little direction
Simple strategies can help:
Planning a loose structure for the day
Keeping some consistent routines (sleep, meals, downtime)
Talking in advance about what the day or week might look like
Importantly, this doesn’t mean filling every moment. As Liz reminded parents, doing nothing is still doing something as rest is a valid and necessary part of recovery.
Masking and Burnout
A significant part of the conversation focused on masking. This is where neurodivergent young people adjust their behaviour to fit in socially, however this can cause impact over time. Masking can be both conscious and unconscious, and while it can help young people handle social situations, it is often exhausting. Over time, this can lead to burnout, a state of deep physical, emotional and mental exhaustion. Burnout is more than just tiredness and exhaustion. It can include:
Difficulty thinking clearly (brain fog)
Reduced tolerance for everyday demands
Increased sensitivity to noise, people or environments
A noticeable drop in skills or ability to cope
During the holidays, when the “mask” begins to drop, this can sometimes be misinterpreted as withdrawal or disengagement. In reality, it may be recovery.
Supporting Recovery
One of the most helpful takeaways was the importance of recognising and validating this exhaustion. Liz encouraged parents to:
Acknowledge how hard their teen has been working
Allow time to withdraw and decompress without taking it personally
Build in quiet recovery time after busy or social events
Model rest and self-care themselves
This might look like allowing space, reducing demands, or simply being available without pushing for conversation. So this could be a pyjama day, but still keeping self hygiene/cleaning routines going.
Planning Without Pressure
Many parents feel pressure to “get the holidays right” by organising activities, keeping teens engaged, and avoiding boredom. Liz offered a reassuring reminder: you don’t need to fill every moment. Instead:
Plan early, but keep it simple
Offer limited choices rather than too many options
Build in downtime alongside any activities
Accept that some days will be quieter than others
Also, reducing pressure on yourself as a parent can also help reduce pressure on your teenager.
Supporting Independence
Summer can also bring increased independence; more time with friends, more time online, and new situations to navigate. Rather than controlling this, Liz suggested building independence gradually by:
Talking through scenarios in advance
Asking questions rather than giving instructions
Helping teens create their own “toolkit” in case they get flustered in new situations (e.g. headphones, fidget tools, music)
Normalising mistakes and learning from them
This approach supports confidence while still keeping a sense of safety, but building on resilience.
Transitions and Why They Feel So Big
Whether it’s starting a new school, returning in September, or simply adjusting to a different routine, transitions can feel particularly intense for neurodivergent teens. This is often because:
Routine provides a sense of safety
Change introduces uncertainty and loss of control
Anxiety increases when the “known” becomes unknown
Even small changes can feel significant if a young person is already holding a lot internally. Helpful strategies include:
Preparing early and revisiting plans regularly
Using simple, clear language
Keeping familiar routines where possible
Allowing time to decompress after new experiences
And, recognising that what may seem small externally can feel very big internally.
Final Thought
There was a clear and reassuring message throughout the session: this doesn’t need to be perfect. Supporting a neurodivergent teenager over the summer is less about getting everything right, and more about staying steady, flexible and connected. As Liz shared in her closing remarks:
Plan, but don’t over-plan
And remember that doing nothing is still doing something
Watch Now
Watch the full session with Liz Ambler on the Let’s All Talk Mental Health hub here.
Resources
For further reading on masking and its impact, visit: National Autistic Society
Daily Regulation Check
Focus and Flow Toolkit
Anna Freud - Supporting children and young people’s transition to secondary school
NHS MHST - Top tips for starting your journey into secondary school