Vaping, Parties & Pressure: What Parents Need to Know
This week’s Let’s all Talk Mental Health session offered some great insight and perspective on one of the top worries for parents and carers: how to support and talk to teenagers on peer pressure, substance use, and social expectations.
Why do we need to be talking to our teens about this? Well, when 95% of 15–18-year-olds say vaping is everywhere among their friends, and 60% of 13–18-year-olds have come across drug content on social media, it’s clear it can’t be ignored. Our teens need open, informed conversations now more than ever.
We talked to Fiona Spargo-Mabbs, Founder of the Daniel Spargo-Mabbs Foundation and a leading voice in youth drug education, who shared her unique parent experience and how to have more open, honest, and supportive conversations with our teens at home.
Building Trust Through Curiosity and Conversation
Fiona explained how teenagers are often more willing to talk than we think, especially when they feel they're being heard. Fiona encouraged parents to use everyday moments - TV shows, news stories, even songs - as jumping-off points for honest conversations about drugs, vaping, alcohol, and decision-making. By showing interest in their world, without rushing to judge, correct or lecture, we start to build trust. And that trust becomes the foundation for them to come to us when things get difficult.
Spotting the Signs and Responding with Care
Substance use can show up in many different ways. Fiona shared some common signs to look out for, including mood swings, changes in friendship groups, withdrawal from usual activities, or even physical signs like red eyes or slurred speech, all of which can all be indicators that something is going on.
Rather than reacting with panic or blame, Fiona suggested approaching these signs with a degree of empathy. The goal isn’t to catch out or punish, it’s to understand, support, and keep the lines of communication open.
The Role of Social Media
Social media is a double-edged sword. While it connects young people, it also exposes them to risk, sometimes in subtle, even subliminal ways. Platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and Snapchat can glamourise drug use or make substances easier to access. Parents can help by encouraging teens to think critically about what they see online, reassuring them they can talk openly about anything they come across.
Why Education Matters - But Isn’t Enough on its Own
Fiona reminded us that drug education, while important, won’t always stop young people from experimenting. What can make a lasting impact is helping teenagers understand why they might feel tempted, and giving them the tools to stay safe. This includes discussing harm reduction, for example, what to do if something goes wrong at a party, as well as the legal consequences of things like ‘social supply’, where substances are shared between friends.
Navigating Peer Pressure
Teenagers want to belong which can make it harder for them to say no, even when they know the risks. Consider talking to them about the type of situations where they might feel pressure, and rehearsing ways they can handle it can help to build their confidence. Also, encouraging teens to find their ‘tribe’ of friends who respect their choices, is also a fundamental step in adolescence. As is, reminding them that it's always okay to walk away from situations that don’t feel right.
This week’s session reminded us that while there are important conversations we need to have with our teens, we’re not alone in having them. By staying informed, curious, and compassionate, we can help our teens define their own values, boundaries, and approaches to keeping safe.
If you're looking for further resources on how to talk to your teenager about drugs, vaping, and pressure, we highly recommend the Daniel Spargo-Mabs Foundation, which offers a wealth of free information and guidance for parents, young people, and educators.