Suicide Prevention: What Parents Should Notice, Ask and Do
Talking about suicide can feel frightening for parents. Many worry about saying the wrong thing, making things worse, or not knowing what to do if their teenager is struggling.
In this Let’s All Talk Mental Health session, Dick Moore spoke with honesty and warmth about why these conversations matter, how parents can approach them, and what can help young people feel less alone when life feels overwhelming.
Why these conversations matter
One of the key pillars of the conversation was that talking about emotions should start early. Young people need to know that all emotions are part of being human. Some are painful, some are easier to manage, but emotions are not “bad” and they do not stay at their most frightening intensity forever.
Dick described these moments as emotional storms. Sometimes they may feel like drizzle; at other times, they may feel like a hurricane. What helps is preparing young people before the storm arrives, so they know that difficult feelings can pass, that they do not have to face them alone, and that there are people they can lean on when things feel too much.
Parents can help by:
modelling emotional honesty
staying calm when difficult feelings are shared
listening more than trying to fix
avoiding judgmental language
For some young people, suicidal thoughts may be linked to a wish to escape intense emotional pain, rather than a simple wish to die. This is why connection, openness and timely support matter so much.
What might sit underneath suicidal thoughts?
Suicide is complicated and it rarely has one single cause. A final event may appear to be the reason, but there is often a much wider backstory.
Distress may be linked to:
relationship difficulties
bullying
fear of failure
uncertainty around sexuality or identity
pressure at school
low mood or hopelessness
feeling like a burden
Dick also spoke about behaviour as communication. A young person’s anger, withdrawal, self-harm or emotional outbursts may be telling us something important, even if they cannot yet put it into words.
What parents might notice
Every young person is different, and sometimes there may be no obvious signs. However, possible warning signs can include:
giving away possessions
saying they feel like a burden
becoming unusually hopeless, tearful or aggressive
withdrawing from family, school or friends
showing little interest in the future
talking about escape or not wanting to be here
Noticing a change does not mean parents need to panic, but it does mean the concern should be taken seriously.
How to ask about suicide
A clear message from the session was that asking about suicide does not put the idea into a young person’s head. If you are worried, it is important that someone asks directly and calmly.
The three key questions Dick shared were:
Are you thinking of taking your own life?
Have you thought about how you might do that?
What is keeping you safe?
For a parent, these questions can feel very hard to ask. If you are worried, or have reason to worry, and do not feel able to ask them yourself, it is important to find someone who can. This might be a trusted adult at school, a relative, a GP, CAMHS, or a specialist helpline such as Papyrus Hopeline.
What helps in the moment
When emotions are very high, it is rarely the best time for a long conversation. A calmer approach may be:
“Please talk to me, or talk to someone, about how you are feeling.” Then, when things have cooled down, you might return to it gently:
“You were in a very difficult place the other night, and I was worried. What could I say or do next time that might help you feel safer?”
Helpful responses include:
staying as calm as possible
listening without rushing to solve
asking who else they would talk to
reminding them they are loved
keeping connection at the centre
Boundaries still matter, but they work best when revisited calmly, rather than in the heat of the moment.
The online world
For some young people, the online world can offer connection, especially if they feel isolated or socially unsure. But it can also expose them to harmful content and, depending on what they’re engaging with, can amplify feelings, reinforce negative thinking, or increase their vulnerability.
Dick’s message was not to demonise social media, but to stay curious and informed. Parents can help by:
asking young people to talk about the platforms they use and why
starting conversations early
putting safeguards in place before there is a crisis
seeking advice from schools or trusted organisations
Safety planning and support
Safety plans can help, especially when they are created calmly and include practical steps, trusted people and sources of support. You can find a helpful example through Parental Minds, including their Thrive Directory safety plan.
Parents should seek additional help if a young person is talking about suicide, feels unsafe, or if there are ongoing concerns about their wellbeing. This may include school safeguarding staff, a GP, CAMHS, Papyrus Hopeline, or emergency services if there is immediate risk.
A key reminder from the session was that confidentiality does not apply in the same way when a young person is at risk of suicide. If a young person shares that they intend to harm themselves, adults need to act.For schools
Dick encouraged schools not to avoid this subject. Emotional and mental health should be part of school life, and suicide prevention should be approached carefully, age-appropriately and clearly.
Schools can help by:
having a clear suicide prevention protocol
training staff to recognise and respond to risk
creating safe opportunities for older students to discuss emotional storms
working with parents when concerns arise
What to remember
Parents cannot control everything, and that can feel frightening, but they can give themselves the best chance of making a difference by staying connected, keeping conversations open, and making sure their child knows they are loved.
As Dick said, young people may not always want to talk to their parents, but they need to know there is someone they can lean on when life feels too heavy.
Watch the full session
Watch the full session on the Let’s All Talk Mental Health hun with Dick Moore here.